We did not send you a card this year.
It would be like opening a door
that I have locked and barred.
So this year,
there will be no pretending.
This year,
there is no tiny check mark by your name.
This year-
you are like those who are dead
or lost to us.
It is right.
It is how things need to be.
That does not make it hurt less.
I cried when I realized-
I wonder if you did too.
blue sky infinite 