Sending Cards, Part One

We did not send you a card this year.
It would be like opening a door
that I have locked and barred.

So this year,
there will be no pretending.
This year,
there is no tiny check mark by your name.
This year-
you are like those who are dead
or lost to us.

It is right.
It is how things need to be.

That does not make it hurt less.

I cried when I realized-
I wonder if you did too.

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