We did not send you a card this year.
It would be like opening a door
that I have locked and barred.
So this year,
there will be no pretending.
there is no tiny check mark by your name.
you are like those who are dead
or lost to us.
It is right.
It is how things need to be.
That does not make it hurt less.
I cried when I realized-
I wonder if you did too.