Poetry for Mourning

-for Nick

I want to give you poetry
some verses that will hold you
some image that will distract you
from the breath-taking grief
you are feeling.
I go searching.
I spread book after book
on my lap until the weight of them
feels like the weight on your chest
when you try to breathe-
I find nothing.

I want poetry to show you that
it will not always feel this raw.
Right now,
it is the only thing you can think about-
the without-
and when you forget
it is almost worse
because then you remember
and it is so fresh,
so new, that it is like losing them
all over again.
But you must remember them.

And finally, I want poetry
that will show you
there is still so much beauty
in this world-
beauty you can share with the person.
You do not have to lose them
because they are gone-
because being gone and being lost
are not the same.
But again, there are no poems that say this.

So I wrote this.
It is here to remind you
to to keep breathing,
keep remembering and
keep loving
until you do not need poetry to remind you
and then you will know
you are healing.